Experimenting with New Forms of Sexual Play
by Tamar Love
Are you ready to start experimenting with something a little different? Good
for you! Variety really is the spice of life, especially when it comes to
sexual relationships. Documented evidence exists supporting the theory that
humans don't find familiarity and repetition erotic. In order to maintain a
healthy monogamous relationship, you need to mix things up, keep things
changing and introduce a little experimental activity.
If you think you want to try something new, we recommend the following
activities, all of which are great for beginners and can be escalated into
more serious play as your comfort level grows.
- Oral Sex: While some people might guffaw at seeing oral sex as
an item of alternative sexual practices, stop and think about it for a
moment. Some people are very conservative in their sexual play, only
enjoying intercourse and kissing. If you fall into this latter category,
please, don't feel uncomfortable! You aren't alone. For tips on getting
started, please see our articles on
fellatio
and
cunnilingus.
- Anal Play: If you've never experimented with this form of love
play but are curious about it, you very likely feel a mixture of shame,
extreme discomfort and arousal when you think about anal play. This is
perfectly normal. Our society has long held the anus as taboo, prohibiting
any contact with this very sensitive area. However, anal play can be very
exciting and satisfying, partly because we tend to become excited by things
we perceive as "forbidden," but also because the anus contains a high
concentration of nerve endings, making it one of the most erogenous zones on
the body. When contemplating anal play, keep in mind that most forms of this
arousal don't involve penetration, but rather external stimulation. For more
information on anal play, we recommend Tristan Taormino's excellent book,
Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women,
and our article
"Introducing Anal Sex."
- Fantasy & Role Play Have you ever wanted to act out one of your
fantasies? Say, swarthy pirate meets helpless maiden? French maid with
disgruntled employer? Nurse and patient? Do it! Acting out your fantasies is
an extremely healthy way to explore your sexual life. Role playing, taking
on the persona of a different person (i.e., French maid, pirate, nurse), is
essential to fantasy; by taking on a different role, we free ourselves of
our "normal" boundaries, and helps us to discover new things about
ourselves. Start by following the ground rules outlined in
"Ground Rules for Exploring Fantasies"
and go from there.
- Shaving More and more people are becoming fascinated with
shaving, the practice of shaving your partner's pubic hair; either shaping
it into different shapes or removing it completely. Don't knock it until you
try it! Shaving is an easy, safe and temporary way to begin exploring
different forms of sexual play. Checkout our
article to learn
ways to do it safely in the privacy of your home.
- Bondage & Domination Once thought of as "advanced" sexual play,
formerly "mainstream" couples are beginning to experiment with light forms
of bondage and domination. Think about it -- have you ever tied up your
lover? You've tried B&D! Many people also enjoy slipping a
blindfold
over their lover's eyes during love play, or even lightly spanking their
partner's rump with a slapper or hairbrush.
If you're interested in exploring light B&D, you might consider trying our
Sweet Surrender, which includes a blindfold, restraints for wrists or ankles and
a feather tickler.
Remember to follow the ground rules outlined in
"Ground Rules for Exploring Fantasies",
and have fun!
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