Sex Lubes, Balms, Dusts, Lotions & Potions
No, those aren't the contents of a witch's cauldron! They're body ointments that
excel at making your lovemaking and erotic evenings sexy, sensual and romantic.
Of course, if you don't know how to use them, they can also make your sheets
sticky, your hands oily and your head achy and overwhelmed by heavy scents.
We've learned this lesson the hard way; we've tried out
numerous massage oils, arousal balms and edible oils -- and every other possible
chemical and natural formula that can be rubbed on a person's body.
Our testing will hopefully benefit you as we share the lessons we've learned over
the years. Here's a handy "How To" guide on all things slippery and
sensual.
How To Use
Massage Oils
The
first thing to know about massage oils is--despite what you might think--lighter
is better, for two reasons. Foremost, you'll be slathering the massage oil all
over one another's bodies; the last thing you want is a sticky coat you can
scrape off with your nails. But also, lighter oils have lighter scents, which
means neither of you will swoon from the heady perfumes some manufacturers
infuse their oils with. I know, you're thinking that more scent is a good thing,
but after you've poured half a bottle of massage oil on your lover, the scent
of lavender can get a little overwhelming. Nobody wants to develop head pains
during foreplay!
Here are a few hints on using massage oils:
- Pour the massage oil directly onto your lover's skin, instead of on your
hand first as you would during a regular massage. He or she will get a sexual
sensation from the sudden feeling of the cool massage oil trickling onto his or
her skin, and then the warming sensation of your hand rubbing the oil into him
or her.
- Cover your lover's entire body in the oil! No well-oiled massage
should be limited to just the back and shoulders. In addition to giving your
lover the gift of total relaxation, you'll both enjoy the slippery friction
of your oiled bodies rubbing together during intercourse.
- An important tip: either use sheets you're willing to get rid of, or buy
a special sheet of fabric to put on your bed, or floor, or wherever your
massage play is taking place. Many massage oils stain, and the stains can be
difficult to get out. You might want to visit a fabric store and buy a large
piece of fabric in an erotic pattern made of something that will feel good
against your skin--try silk or pure cotton. Get a large swath that will cover
your whole massage area--it can be your "erotic massage" material,
signaling to your lover that it's erotic massage night every time he or she
sees the material out on the bed!
- We don't recommend using massage oils as a sexual lubricant, although some
people do it anyway. However, oftentimes massage oils are too thick to really
work as a lubricant, and aren't condom safe. The chemicals used to infuse oils
with scents can also irritate sensitive skin.
A Note on
Warming Oils
Typically, a warming oil
is cool when applied to the skin, and then warms either
with the touch of a hand rubbing it or somebody blowing on it. We think these
ointments are great for foreplay: massage them into the inner thighs or inside
knees and then gently blowing on the oil--instant heat! A word of warning,
though: for some reason, warming oils tend to have heavier scents than their
non-warming counterparts.
How (and Why) To Use
Erotic Dusts
Body dusts
are, in our opinion, the most underrated and overlooked products of
all the body play options. Oils, balms and other liquids can create heated,
sensual encounters; body dusts are a nice change of pace. They also travel better
than their oil-based cousins, reducing the risk of spilling a heavily scented
oil all through your travel bag. A body dust is a light powder that you sprinkle
on and then rub into your lover's skin.
Generally, body dusts are infused with erotic scents like honey or berry, and
while they don't create any slippery friction, they'll leave your lover's body
extremely smooth for a unique feel during lovemaking. Most body dusts also
come with a feather tickler of some sort to use when applying the dust to your
partner's skin. If your dust doesn't come with one, we really recommend
picking one up. Not only will your lover enjoy the feeling of the feather
on his or her skin, but it will keep the dust from clumping or getting all
over the room.
How To Use
Arousal Balms
Arousal balms
aren't really meant for full body massage; they're intended for
concentrated use on sensitive parts of the body, such as the
nipples,
genitals,
inner thighs and other erogenous zones. Most are flavored with an infusion
of
mint or other
natural ingredients.
Typically, one person puts a small amount on his or her
finger, and then rubs it into the skin of the desired spot, further stimulating
that area with their mouth or fingers. The arousal balm will tingle when first
applied, and then often acts like a warming oil as it is stimulated, changing
from a tingling sensation to a warming sensation -- though some people experience
a tingling sensation for longer.
If your lover (male or female) has sensitive nipples, arousal balms can take
nipple play to a new level. We recommend starting slowly with a small amount of
whatever arousal gel you're using, until you figure out exactly how powerful the
effect on your partner is! Some people are more sensitive than others, and a
small amount can send them reeling with sensation. While that might be a good
thing sometimes, you don't want your lover to get woozy!
How To Use Body Paints
People rave about the joys of using body paints for erotic play--and we're no
different. Again, make sure you're not using sheets that you want to keep
clean forever! While many body paints are water soluble, some are not so
easy to get out of your linens. A few other pointers:
- When painting your lover's body, make sure to use long strokes. While the
dots of a happy face may look cute, it's more arousing for your lover to feel
a paintbrush or your finger running the length of his or her body.
- They don't call them erogenous zones for nothing... if you want to have fun,
paint your lover's upper arms, inner thighs, stomach or other hot spots. If
you want to have steamy, painted sex, use that brush on areas you know will
arouse your partner.
- Don't limit yourself to just body paints! Try using
chocolate,
sundae toppings and whatever else you can get your hands on!
Chocolate, Chocolate,
Chocolate
(and Other Sweets)
It may be messy, it may be sticky and it may give you a toothache later, but the
occasional romp in mother nature's favorite candy is a welcome addition to any
sexual repertoire. Here are some helpful hints when playing with chocolate:
- Chocolate does not come off a person's body easily, so don't play
with syrupy sauces just before you have to go out on the town. Make time for thorough
cleaning
and grooming.
- Experiment with different chocolates. Traditional chocolate syrup is lighter
in texture, but tends to run all over with little control. A chocolate frosting,
such as
Chocoholics,
requires a little more work than just dumping a container
on your lover and might be better for extended seductions. Find what's right
for both of you!
Finally, whichever sticky solution you and your lover decide to rub all over each
other, make sure you talk about it before you pour it on. While there's a lot to
be said for spontaneity, some people really don't like being slathered with
substances. You'll do better if you determine which category your partner falls
into before you haul out the "old" sheets!
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